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Writer's pictureSumana Sethuraman

A Lesson on Warmth: The Role of Scientific Thinking in Relationships

“How often do we form impressions of others based on quick assumptions, only to find out later how wrong we were? Whether in science or in our daily relationships, when understanding isn’t preceded by careful observation, we end up ‘mis-understanding.’”


As we dive into the abstract world of physics with my sixth graders, we consciously engage in a practice that feels both simple and profound: the art of documenting what we see, hear, smell, and experience—before letting our minds run wild with conclusions. You see, the heart of scientific thinking isn’t just reserved for laboratories and scientists; it’s an essential human practice that calls us to observe the world with a clear mind before forming any judgments. And yet, this practice is anything but easy, as we discovered in class today.


This week, as part of our physics block, we explored the concept of Heat. We conducted an experiment involving a suspended metal wire wrapped around a heavy object. The wire was heated while the students carefully measured the changing height of the object above the floor.


After the experiment, I asked them to document their observations. Almost instinctively, they began explaining how “the metal wire expanded when heated.” And here, we had a moment of revelation. I gently nudged them: “What I’m asking for are your observations, not your conclusions.” They stared at me, puzzled for a moment. I could almost see the gears turning in their minds. “But isn’t that what we saw?” they asked.


And therein lay the lesson.


Presumed Conclusion: The metal wire expanded when heated.

True Observation: The final marking of the object’s height was lower than its initial height.


The room was filled with gasps of realization. They quickly understood how, despite their best efforts, they were slipping from simply observing to explaining what they assumed must be happening. Staying purely in the realm of observation seems so straightforward—just recount what you see, hear, smell, etc.—but it’s much harder than it looks. The urge to jump to “why” is almost irresistible, even for young minds.


This led us to a deeper conversation, one that went beyond physics. We talked about what it truly means to think scientifically. It’s not just a method for experiments; it’s a way of approaching life. Whether in the scientific or social world, it’s crucial to record what we observe before rushing into explanations. Otherwise, we risk misunderstandings—an idea the students found particularly intriguing.


Misunderstandings! We laughed as we dissected that word. Whether in science or in our daily relationships, when understanding isn’t preceded by careful observation, we end up “mis-understanding.” How often do we form impressions of others based on quick assumptions, only to find out later how wrong we were? It’s the same process at work. Without first gathering clear, unbiased observations, we’re left with conclusions built on shaky ground.


Imagine a world where more people embraced scientific thinking in relationships—where we all practiced observing first, understanding next, and concluding only when necessary. Wouldn’t we have fewer misunderstandings and more harmonious relationships?


In today’s class, we didn’t just learn about heat. We learned about clarity, about resisting the rush to judgment, and about the value of truly seeing before assuming. And perhaps, most importantly, we learned that the same principles that guide scientific inquiry can help us build healthier, happier connections with those around us.


What thoughts does this stir up in you?

Connect with me on my Instagram to stay inspired.

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Aug 23
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Pure reasoning with clear observation is missing in all our education system including parenting. You are pioneering the most important method in our crazy times.

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