“I am a coach for personal growth, thriving on inspiration from my curated collection of books and programs. Reading and taking these programs are on my list of ‘shoulds,’ yet I have days where I find myself struggling to meet them.”
Sticking to what I should do and avoiding what I shouldn't isn't always straightforward using logic. Following logical steps with a strong mind can work for a while—days, weeks, months, or even years. There are brilliant, scientifically sound methods promising constructive habit-forming. Often, when you stick to the 'shoulds' with discipline and support, you taste the reward. That feeling pushes you to keep doing what's good and stay away from detrimental habits.
But we're all different. Each of us has a unique background shaped by our own history of growing up. We may or may not manage to stick to the 'shoulds' long enough to taste the reward and get inspired to keep going. Sometimes, after doing well for a while, we slip back into not doing what we should and doing what we shouldn't. That's life—dynamic, shifting with every choice we make, either steering us closer to who we want to be or to who we fear becoming.
Does it have to be so hard? Does it have to take so much effort? Can consistency come easily and even merrily? Have you thought about what you do (constructive habits, of course) merrily and easily? Check out my thoughts on Why We Struggle To Do The Things We Want To Do in my previous video blog.
Here's the key: If I can connect to the inspiration behind the 'shoulds,' it makes a huge difference. For example, how does abstaining from smoking align with who I am—the wholesome, awe-inspiring version of me that is at my core? How does an exercise routine fit with that version of me that I’ve been desiring and know is the true me? While external factors like motivation and support contribute to your efforts to be consistent with the 'shoulds,' what truly adds weight and benefit is connecting to your own inspiration. This means understanding who you are and how your habit or action fits with you. This connection needs time for yourself and a kind, attentive focus on your inner world. In this process, you'll find that being consistent with what you want to do becomes more natural and enjoyable.
External motivational factors are not to be undermined at all. They are monumental in aiding you to walk the path you want with the least resistance. I am a coach for personal growth and I thrive on the inspiration I receive from my curated collection of books and programs. I know how reading and taking these programs bring me closer to or set me on the trajectory onto the path I desire. I experience the evidence each time when I am rewarded with the inspiration to write yet another blog or share yet another inspiring thought with my audiences and achieve deeper work with my clients. So reading and taking these programs are one of my ‘shoulds.’ Despite knowing it and experiencing the reward of engaging in this ‘should,’ I have days where I find myself struggling to meet it. Those are the days, I’ve noticed, when my environment wasn’t supportive—either my body wasn’t supportive of the change in place or routine, or my emotional state was a factor. It is both your ‘knowing’ of why you want to do a certain thing as well as setting up a supportive environment for it that gets you sustaining. And of course, compassion for when you derail and trust that your inspiration will get you back on track.
Even as you create a supportive environment for your beneficial habit, checking in with how it aligns with who you are and tapping into the inspiration to be that version of you makes the process of ‘doing’ or pursuing a habit natural, enjoyable, and sustainable. So, as you try to be consistent, let your inspiration guide you. Understand who you are deeply, and see how this alignment naturally propels you toward your goals, turning your 'shoulds' into a harmonious rhythm of authenticity and fulfilment.
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Yeah ... you are right.. aligning with self...