To all the ambitious souls out there!
Today, let’s dive into the concept of self-discipline and challenge the idea of finishing what we started. A lot of us, the doers, the achievers, often pride ourselves on our strong sense of discipline, battling inertia, lethargy, and boredom to fulfil the tasks we’ve committed to. But what if we paused for a moment and questioned this relentless pursuit?
What happens when the initial inspiration fades, and the motivation to continue dwindles?
Do we have to push through, or is there another perspective worth exploring?
Unveiling the Dilemma
Amidst the pressure to complete tasks and all the nudging from our inner critic (those voices in our heads cautioning against the possibility of letting ourselves or others down), a crucial question surfaces: Does our worthiness hinge on completing what we initially set out to do?
The origin of this worthiness may be misplaced. Think about it… The plans we passionately crafted in the past were fueled by moments of inspiration or a surge of motivation, all directed toward our well-being — whether physical, emotional, financial, or social. Yet, when confronted with the weight of inertia in the present moment, while engaging in the same task that once came from inspiration, should our immediate response be resentment, or is there space for a more introspective and open-minded exploration of this intricate feeling?
The key is acknowledging that plans made with good intentions in the past might not and need not align with our present selves.
The Object of Life: Attaining Extraordinary Moments
Drawing inspiration from Edward L. Deci’s perspective, let’s ponder the true object of life. It’s not merely about achieving goals but attaining a state of being — a heightened level of functioning, an extraordinary moment of existence. The beauty lies in continuous attunement to the present, seizing the opportunity to live consciously.
This perspective reframes the narrative from a focus on end results to a continuous process of conscious living. It emphasises the significance of each moment, providing an opportunity for the conscious presence necessary to truly seize the richness of our experiences.
A moment, in this context, is not confined to a fraction of a second; it’s a state of profound connection to the unfolding present. Sometimes, a moment can feel like an eternity.
To be alive, then, becomes an ongoing process of self-reconfiguration in each present moment — overriding the configurations of the past where necessary and, therefore, living purposefully in the present.
Because I am ‘Here,’ attuned to my experience in this moment, this moment is no longer ordinary!
Embracing Negative Feelings as Messengers
Negative feelings, akin to the initial inspiration that led us to take on new endeavours-a new project, exercise routine, or diet, could be blessings in disguise.
This contrasting feeling — a lack of inspiration to pursue what I set out for myself, offers a chance to reassess our desires and question why we embarked on this journey. It prompts us to question why we initially embraced this new project or routine.
Negative feelings are messages worth decoding. They prompt us to reevaluate what we truly want. Feelings are intricately linked to thoughts, and understanding the subconscious thoughts that are driving the inertia can bring forth new revelations.
Instead of berating ourselves for lacking discipline, let’s delve into our elusive thoughts, asking: What am I ignoring? What needs attention?
Feelings stem from thoughts, mainly subconscious and elusive ones. Actions or inaction are a result of feelings — low feelings drive inertia and high feelings drive action.
Sometimes, these feelings that are causing inertia might signal a need for a moment’s pause or a check-in on other life aspects. For instance, if you have been too career-focused, a low feeling phase preventing you from focusing on your job may highlight what you’re neglecting in, say, your personal life. Subconscious thoughts like ‘not enough time with family’ or ‘not in the best shape’ could be behind this inertia, awakening you from a one-sided focus on career or finance.
Perhaps you are a new mother, and lately, you’ve been experiencing bouts of low feelings, questioning your worthiness while all you are doing is being a mother. Your low feelings here are a wonderful opportunity to understand your core desires that are always calling out to you to live that full life you are meant to lead. It’s not mothering that you are resenting; it’s something else you genuinely need and might be ignoring, affecting your presence in mothering.
If you struggle to maintain a routine like an exercise routine or a diet plan, addressing the elusive subconscious thoughts driving the inertia or lack of inspiration might be more beneficial than self-blame for lacking discipline. What am I ignoring? What needs my attention? Why do I need this routine? What do I love about it?
Discipline vs. Clarity
Boldly stated but profoundly true: It’s not discipline that we lack but clarity about what we truly want. Lack of discipline is, more often than not, a lack of clarity about our desires.
Your thoughts are everything, steering every feeling and action moment by moment. Giving them the space to be honestly heard — loud, clear, and concrete (through visible text or audible speech) is key. For further insights on how our thoughts create our reality, check out my previous blog post on working with Thoughts, Emotions and the Body.
In each moment of awareness, especially amid negative feelings, you can seize the opportunity to understand yourself better seeking clarity on what you want ‘now’.
The Pitfall of Blind Discipline
And what if you mastered the art of suppressing and overcoming negative feelings, enforcing self-discipline?
Suppressing negative feelings and relentlessly adhering to discipline often leads to a crisis. Some experience a midlife crisis, while others, toward the end of their lives, feel like everything is crumbling or that they did so much but achieved nothing. Living a life merely doing what we are supposed to do can make everything seem meaningless. Our wants evolve, and the universe expands in tandem. It’s invaluable to live moment to moment, being honest about our desires that emanate from our core, letting out into this world an expression of ‘who I am’.
What I wanted once need not be what I want now. Desires evolve, contributing to the continuous expansion of the universe.
What are your thoughts after this read?
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